Entry Number 18: A Babbling Brook

Twice recently I have had racing thoughts described to me as water flowing down a stream.  The second time, the image was sitting on the bank watching the thoughts flow.  That it is only when we pay them any attention that we become entangled by them.

It makes me think of lying down with dogs, and getting up with flees, and we are the company we keep.  I've often wondered about that and used to see it as a trending idea, now, only an occasional twinge of pain.  Just a zing of a reminder...

Similar to a sea of emotion.  If you can stand on land, looking out at the sea, instead of being surrounded, and swallowed up by it, you have a view that is not only more clear, but also closer to being free of the bias imposed upon by the emotions.

This makes it easier to pluck but a single thought from the often racing stream.  And I am beginning to understand that it might be okay to not to analyze, examine, and dissect every fleeting drop of a thought.  

Which ties in to something else..  

I have no control over my past, all the many things that are done and over with; but I will take hold of my future.  The path my feet will walk?  Where I will end up?  Undetermined.  And that's okay for today.

I am still having a hard time processing everything and am beginning to see the physical need being displayed by my restlessness.  Rearranging my bedroom and living room has temporarily suppressed the anxiety, but I know it is just going to resurface another day.

To my surprise, and amidst the ebb and flow of my anxiety, I find myself happy.