Note Number Two: No Wind in Space

It seems so long ago that I rose above the clouds, filled my lungs with a breath of fresh air.  Left vulnerable, and and touched by raw emotion.  It was so clear, and I felt truly alive.  I've put myself in shackles before, and here I've found myself again.  Differently, yes, but the same.  

I will continue to make the same mistakes until I learn from them. It's like a cool breeze on an autumn day, being washed over.  I just don't feel that spark in life that I know is supposed to be there with out being self destructive.

I'm ashamed of myself for falling back into old habits, but I don't feel so hopeless this way.  I need to just suck it up and stop being selfish.  Or start being selfish...  I'm still dancing around this one.  

....I just. can't. focus...  Not like this.  Self sabotage.  Always..