I gave myself a deadline; September 28th. I couldn't let another month go by giving into unhealthy behavior, keeping her waiting, taking advantage of her patience. September 18th/19th proved to be an amazing day. For a while now, I had been struggling with somethings that I didn't quite know how to reconcile, or even fully understand. I couldn't figure out why it was such a big deal, or what was fueling my inaction.
We were laying in bed and I found myself becoming distracted by one of my happiest moments. I can't say what triggered the memory, but I found myself being whisked away as if in a dream. I was once again falling asleep in Her bed at the townhouse. And as clear as day, I heard her whisper that she loved me. Even if I wanted to, I am unable to recall this event without being filled with joy. It was the simplicity that I remember most. Everything else fell away as I could truly feel the emotion in her words. The truth escaping from her lips and permeating my mind like sunshine warming my skin.
It is one of the clearest memories of total bliss I have. She is my favorite person. My happy thought. I knew at that moment, the time was right, and I couldn't let the opportunity pass me by. It was high time she felt the reciprocation She'd been longing for.
My only regret is that it took me so long to show her that her needs are are important to me. That they are more important than my fears, my insecurities.
